Overcoming Stuff Processing Disorder

 

Overcoming "Stuff Processing Disorder"

For the past two years, I've been on a decluttering mission. A mission to lighten my load, so to speak. I've been overwhelmed by too much stuff- and not even valuable stuff. Just stuff that comes in and doesn't get dealt with properly, and accumulates exponentially.

I was sharing something that was a small victory for me the other day in a decluttering group on Facebook. I threw away a catalog that came in the mail- the same day it arrived in my mailbox. It's a catalog of products that I use, and really like, but I realized I can find information about all of those products online. I don't need this catalog as a reference. I don't have a designated place to store catalogs in my home (who does?) So I tossed it. It was in that moment that I realized I am overcoming what I now refer to as "stuff processing disorder."

In the group, I joked that in the past, I would've held onto that catalog for six years. That's not much of an exaggeration. Many times, I've thought as I've come across things in my decluttering journey, "why do I still have this?"

I have a long history of dealing with stuff processing disorder. When I worked on staff at my church, I seem to remember my office being (semi) jokingly referred to as "the black hole". Stuff would go in, but it rarely made it out (at least not without much outside pressure). Come to think of it, my childhood bedroom was sort of the same way. My desk at school and my backpack were like this too. This is not a new thing for me.

You can imagine that living with this "disorder" adds to the level of chaos in my life. I'm not a hoarder- at least not to the point that I could appear on one of those reality shows. But I can easily see how I could have gotten to that point.

I've heard the expression, "big doors swing on little hinges" and I think it's important to recognize some of those "little hinges" or mental shifts it has taken for me to overcome stuff processing disorder.

I'm not a reservoir

Not every single item is meant to take up permanent residence with me and my family! Some items are meant to be used and passed on or discarded. Baby gear is a great example. With my fourth baby, we bought a swing second hand. We used it until she outgrew it and was ready for the Exersaucer, and then we passed it quickly to a relative.

Early on in my parenting journey, I thought I was wise for hanging onto everything. "Once this child outgrows it, I can use it for the next one," I'd say. Well, what happens in the mean time? Do I have space for this item until the next child is ready for it? If not, then it's time to re-evaluate. It's helpful to view our possessions as fluid- easily received and easily given again based on their usefulness to us at the time.

Items can be replaced

Our family might be complete with four children, but I know that I can get another baby swing if I need it in the future (I've been wrong about being done before- just saying). I can get one rather inexpensively too (or even free).

Most things are easily replaceable, and God has a way of providing- especially when we have open hands to give to others who need something that we have. Having extra space and order in the home is much better than hanging on to an item "just in case."

I only have so much space

This may not be something everyone deals with immediately, but for us, living in a small apartment, it came to my attention rather quickly! Children seem to acquire things at an alarming rate. With four of them in your family, that means four birthdays per year, Christmas gifts for four, Easter goodies, and every single kid-centric event ever (we all know that goody bags are a "requirement" of children's events), changing out seasonal clothing (again, twice a year times four little ones- and even more often for the baby), and you quickly realize that your walls are made of bricks- not elastic!

Too much stuff gets overwhelming

Not dealing with things promptly leads to an overwhelmed, stressed out me. Other people in my home are affected by this. One of my goals as a wife and mom is to create an atmosphere of peace. I've learned that part of my problem is spending too much time and effort on keeping things cleaned, put away, and tidy. I'm not the type of person who likes to clean (gasp!) When I learned that I need to be proactive about evaluating an item's role in our lives, I realized that I had the power to keep things from becoming overwhelming. It is so much more peaceful to maintain fewer items than it is to try to maintain many items!

Have you suffered from "stuff processing disorder"? What mental shifts have helped you overcome this issue?

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Book Review: The Love Letters Book Series (for kids)

I was given a copy of these books in exchange for my honest review. No other compensation was received.

As a Christian parent, my goal is to always point my children to Jesus in any situation. And I love sharing books with my children. So I was delighted when I had the opportunity to review a series of books by Soraya Diase Coffelt called The Love Letters Book Series.

Each book is about a holiday that is widely celebrated, and describes the origin of each one.

In It's Not About You, Mr. Pumpkin, a child writes a letter to a jack-o-lantern to share what they learned about this seemingly innocent and fun holiday that we know as Halloween. Personally, I've had trouble teaching my children about the true origins of Halloween and why we shun the glorification of anything "spooky". It is literally everywhere in October (and really most of the year). Bright illustrations combined with geography and historical facts help the child learn why certain things are done at Halloween, and help the parent start a discussion with their child about these traditions. I really appreciate this unique book and it will be one that I pull out again closer to Halloween!

It's Not About You, Mrs. Turkey is also a fun, colorful look at the history of our Thanksgiving holiday. It gets kids to look past the traditional feast on that day, while still acknowledging that all the festivities are fun and delicious. Again, the child writes a letter (this time to a turkey) explaining their newfound knowledge of the pilgrims and the persecution they escaped as well as God's provision they experienced in their new home.

In It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus, our friend is back again with another letter to the jolly guy in the red suit to share the story of the first Christmas. I especially like the ending where the child invites Santa Claus to ask Jesus into his heart. I think that is a sweet touch for families that may have embraced the Santa Claus tradition in their home.

Each book has a Scripture in the beginning, as well as a dedication to Jesus Christ and the author's family. At the end of each one is an invitation to the reader to accept Jesus as Lord. Mrs. Coffelt's foundation, As the Stars of the Sky, works to promote literacy in children, something I am also very passionate about. I am definitely looking forward to her future books! They are such a fun and informative way to look at holidays, and direct children to Jesus Christ!

Linking up with: 
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Our "Go with the Flow" Homeschool Day

 Have you ever wondered what a homeschool day in the life looks like for someone who is "structurally-challenged"? If so, you are in for a treat! (I will warn you: if you are the type of person who loves schedules and doing things by the book, this post may not be for you. It will seem terribly chaotic. I won't confidently say that it works for us, and that I'm totally nailing this homeschool thing, because I'm always striving to do better, but this is where we are right now. Or rather a few weeks ago.)

I have always resisted schedules. (It's sort of a trademark of an INFP). But even during those times when I think, "you know what? Maybe those Type A people are onto something..." there's generally some external resistance happening too. I have four children ages 8, 6, 3 and 9 months. Since the beginning of our homeschooling adventure, we've had an infant, and then a toddler, then a pregnancy, and now a new infant, and a very energetic preschooler.

I DO try to maintain some level of routine in our days. We follow one of the schedules from SimplyCharlotte Mason as much as is practical for us. I have found that it makes it easier to sort of be on "auto pilot" for our lessons and readings (the more planning and preparation and DECISIONS required of me, the less likely we are to actually accomplish any formal schooling for the day). Despite resisting schedules, we are rather creatures of habit. Our day just happens to start and end way later than most people's days. I'm working on that!

8:30-10:00 am- I'm up. I've made tea, chatted with my husband, and opened my Bible to read for a bit. I hear the baby cry, so I go in to settle her to buy myself a little more quiet time. My husband is taking the first part of his day off at work to get some errands done, so he is in and out of the house for the first part of our day.

10:30-11:30 am- Everyone else wakes up. First my 8 year old, who mills around for a bit and then asks for toast. The baby wakes up for good, and I feed her while I look at Facebook. The 3 year old wakes up to join the 8 year old who is now in the living room reading picture books. They start to squabble over something. I change the baby's diaper, and then the six year old gets up. I make toast for my 3 year old.

11:30-12:00 pm- Baby plays in the Exersaucer while I wrap up what I'm doing online. My 8 year old asks me to request some Kevin Henkes books from the library (he was on a mouse book kick there for a minute), so I handle that before I get off the computer. He starts his chores, which include sweeping the dining room floor, emptying small waste baskets, and checking the mail. (He is kind of a self-starter. Also, he knows that screen time doesn't happen until his chores are done).

12:30 pm- My husband returns home briefly before heading for work. He brought coffee. We talk in the kitchen until he has to go.

12:30-1:30 pm- The baby gets another diaper change, and I realize I haven't eaten yet! I put the baby in the Ergo and head to the kitchen to make myself something. The older kids are gathered around the tablet watching whatever the 3 year old is watching on YouTube Kids (until I shoo them away). He watches lots of toy videos (ugh), but also a variety of whatever else catches his fancy. In the past couple of weeks, I've seen Peppa Pig, Thomas and Friends, Pink Panther and some others. At some point, the 8 year old begs off of school today in favor of watching Despicable Me again (we rented it from Netflix). Um, NO.

1:30- 2:00 pm- The baby should be ready for a nap soon. I sit down in the living room with her for a feeding, and start to watch a new PBS documentary called No Mas Bebes. I am trying to see if she will get drowsy and fall asleep. The three year old begins quizzing me on how to spell the words, "um", "no", "yes", "Saturday" and "remote." The six year old comes into the room and starts to play with the baby. I fuss at the 6 year old for getting the baby worked up again, and quickly apologize for snapping at her. I send the bigger kids to play in the room while I feed and try to settle the baby. Three year old is playing on the tablet. I abandon the program eight minutes into it. The big kids were fighting. This nap time approach isn't working!

2:00- 3:00 pm- I use the restroom and put the baby back in the Ergo. Baby begins to fall asleep while I start on dishes and laundry and a new podcast episode. By three o'clock, I have put the baby in bed, and get ready for our lessons.

3:00-3:30 pm- Head to the kids' bedroom to start on school lessons. (I have deemed their room to be the most distraction-free location for lessons to take place for the time being. We live in a small apartment, so we don't have a dedicated school space, and the 3 year old is not occupied in the same way from one day to the next usually. We need to be flexible and do what works!) And I always have the three year old occupied with something in another room because being quiet is not one of his strengths! (And being loud is not one of my strengths!) We get started on Scripture memorization and Bible reading, and are interrupted by the three year old who first needs assistance in the restroom, and minutes later, requests a snack.

3:30- 4:00 pm- Attempt to transition from Bible reading to the next portion of our lessons, but end up discussing Esther the Girl Who Became Queen, and how it compares to the real story of Esther (which we haven't actually read yet- we were reading from Matthew today). The children begin flipping through the Bible, reading certain passages briefly (they are remembering many of the verses from VeggieTales). I manage to get us back on track, telling the children that they may explore the Bible more after we do our other lessons (which they ultimately do). There is a potty break, and the 3 year old requires attention again. 

I hear the baby wake up from her nap. I get her out of bed, and finish reading chapter two of The Cricket in Times Square. The 8 year old works on Khan Academy for math. I let him choose the duration, but it must be at least 10 minutes, and no more than 15 minutes. (Charlotte Mason recommends brief lessons to sustain the child's interest. It works for us!) My 6 year old works on a chapter of Life of Fred: Cats. I requested it from the library because she seemed to be having some trouble with some of the Khan Academy content. (We've tried LOF before, and it didn't sustain their interest. I LOVE the concept, but we likely won't get it again any time soon.) We end up skipping our reading from The Boy Who Invented TV (a children's book about Philo Farnsworth) because the baby woke sooner than expected.

4:00- 5:30 pm(ish)- I read Grover's Good Manners to the three year old and the baby, and nurse the baby briefly afterwards. The big kids make sandwiches while I feed the baby some solid food (she is really loving butternut squash right now). I eat something as well. I put a chicken in the slow cooker. (Mine actually runs really hot for some reason. Dinner will be ready in a few hours!) I start another load of laundry.

5:45 pm- I sit down to resume watching No Mas Bebes. (I find the story so heartbreaking. It's about some Hispanic women in 1970's Los Angeles who were sterilized without their informed consent.) This is free time for everyone. The 8 year old is having tablet time. The 6 year old usually looks on with the 8 year old, or she works on drawings, plays with her dolls or another toy. The 3 year old plays on the computer.

6:30 pm (and beyond)- The baby takes another nap later in the evening, and usually I tidy up the kitchen and do other chores with her in the Ergo while I wait for my husband to get off work. He is usually home by 10 pm, so we have a long wait! We eat dinner when he gets home. We would not be able to do this if the kids went to a traditional school, of course. (Now, I will disclose that this is not exactly intentional on my part. I would rather have everyone eat a little earlier, and be about ready for bed when he gets home, but I must admit that I like everyone to eat together too). Sometimes in the "waiting for dad" time, I let the children watch something together on TV.

Overall, our days tend to manifest as a combination of Charlotte Mason style learning and unschooling. We read lots of books, learn about a variety of subjects, but also have plenty of time to find our own rhythm and explore our own interests.

As of this writing (this day was a few weeks ago), our days do not look like this! We are taking a couple weeks off of our usual mom-facilitated learning as the baby works out some developmental stuff. (Nine month sleep regression is a real thing!) Last week, she barely napped longer than 15 minutes, so that made our school time really challenging. I decided this week, we would lean into that and give her the space to work it out. She's still not back to her usual nap routine, and a few of us have been feeling a bit sniffly, so the break is well-timed.

The older two children have been reading a book called Kid Presidents (a book about what the presidents were like as children), as well as other library books. I am working to implement a 30 minute daily individual reading time, so before screen time happens, they need to get their reading in. My 8 year old has been doing his math online this week before screen time as well. Yesterday, the two older children rediscovered their marble run. I happened to go into the room while they were taking a break from their fun, and noticed a stopwatch and paper and pencil on the floor. They had been timing how long it took for the marbles to reach the bottom, and seeing which one was faster. I don't worry much when we take breaks because I know that they are always learning! It may not look like school, but their knowledge is always growing! 

Do you homeschool? What does a day look like in your home? 

Sharing today at Simple Homeschool's Annual Day in the Life Series.

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Five Minute Friday: Seek Him FIRST

First:

Seeking Him first. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing that I need to do is sit down in whatever quiet space is available with a cup of tea, and open His Word. Fill my mind with Him and His thoughts FIRST. First, before Facebook, before getting immersed into social media, or the cares of my day- my husband, my children, my work, my Netflix list. First.

The Bible tells us that if we will seek Him first, then "all these things shall be added to us." God wants to add to us, but we must FIRST seek Him.

I don't know about anyone else, but I know that when I put Him first, it pays off. I'm still learning various ways to put Him first, I know it goes beyond reading the Bible first thing in the morning. It's in thinking His thoughts first in any given situation. It's in obeying Him FIRST before I question. It's in sharing Him with my children and others before I share anything else with them. Seek. Him. First.

Stop.

This post is a part of Five Minute Friday where writers set their timer for five minutes and WRITE. Click over to see more submissions!

Books We Read in 2015

I began the year intending to read more. I joined the reading challenge at Modern Mrs. Darcy, so I started off with much enthusiasm and inspiration from the group Pinterest board. Twelve books seemed totally doable!

I've learned something about myself this year: perhaps I'm not quite the voracious reader I thought I was! I love books. I love reading. I think it's important as all get out. But I apparently lack focus. Call it being an INFP, call it being a mom with (now) four young children (my fourth was born late this spring!), call it being a homeschooling mom. At any rate, I fell short of my twelve book goal, but ultimately, I'm sure I read more books than I would have if I didn't participate in the challenge at all!

Here are the books that my eyeballs scanned in 2015! (I will include some of the homeschooling books we read aloud as well!)

Books I Read

Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan- A hilarious (yet extremely accurate) look at parenthood. I laughed out loud many times.

The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver (A book in a genre you don't typically read)- A story of a young woman who unintentionally adopts a little girl. They end up making a happy life for themselves in the Arizona desert.

Supernatural Childbirth by Terry Mize (A book you've been meaning to read)- Such a powerful look at what the Word of God says about pregnancy and birth. Definitely a must-read for any woman who desires to have children.

Family: The Ties that Bind...and Gag by Erma Bombeck (A book your mom loves)- My mom loved Erma Bombeck, and I actually had a copy of this book that my mom owned. A funny and reflective look at family life from the "empty nest" season. (Yet still relatable for those of us with young children at home).

Scream-Free Parenting by Hal Runkel- Definitely needed (and still could probably stand to re-read) this book about controlling our responses to our children.

Abandoned Books (AKA "good intentions").

I'm including these because I did invest a significant amount of time in these titles, and plan to get back to them at some point! 

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck (a part of the Read Great Books Challenge with Hollywood Housewife- apparently I like reading challenges!)- Tom Joad gets out of jail, and heads out on the road with his family from the Dust Bowl to greener pastures, and then...(my sister actually bought me a copy for my birthday after she heard I couldn't finish it before it was due back at the library.)

A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson- An amusing and informative look at life on the Appalachian Trail. Is it ironic that I put this down midway through and have vowed to get back to it...sometime? Ha.

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien (a book "everyone" has read but you)- I really wanted to get sucked into this book so that I could understand the love and devotion of the fans of this series. I may pick it back up another time, but did I mention that I am notorious for falling asleep during these movies (and once in the theater!)? Someday, Bilbo.

Currently Reading

Discipline the Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot- Probably one of the most life-changing and encouraging books I've read in a while (I have abandoned this not once, but twice, but SO need this message). I love Elliot's no-nonsense style and so far the attitudes she has confronted in me have helped me so much in my day to day life.

Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt- Children and the books to read to them. Two of my favorite things to talk about!

The Well Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer- A book for grown-ups about getting the education you never had. I love this idea, and the books recommended in it. It's about training your mind, and filling in the gaps you may have from your own school years.

The Making of Home by Judith Flanders- A really interesting look at how the modern home came to be.

Children's Books

These are just some of the bigger books I've read aloud with my older children this year for school. I'm working on developing the habit of consistently reading to my two younger ones (ages 3.5 and almost 8 months). I've read many books to my younger two, but only started keeping track of them recently.

Charlotte's Web by EB White- A classic story of the redemptive friendship between a spider and a pig.

Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary- The quirky and lovable Ramona Quimby and the tales of her adventures at home and school.

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes- A short chapter book about a quiet, unpopular girl and how she surprises her classmates.

Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder- Life on the prairie with Pa, Ma, Mary, Laura and Baby Carrie.

The Cabin Faced West by Jean Fritz- A family moves west, as told from the perspective of a young girl. (A must-read if your family likes the Little House on the Prairie books, though it is chronologically before Laura's time).

The Children's Book of Heroes by William J. Bennett- A book of short stories and poems about the people we call heroes.

Mad About Madeline: the Complete Tales by Ludwig Bemelmans- Madeline and all of her adventures.



I'd love to hear what you've read this year! Leave a comment!

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Five Minute Friday- Freedom

I'm laughing to myself about how hard it was to write without a specific prompt. I tried out a few different words, but found myself really unhappy with all of them. I almost didn't participate this week, but I told myself I would do so for at least the month of December, so, here you have it. Freedom. Untamed brain. Enjoy! Hee hee. 

Go

This week's five minute Friday was a "choose your own word" edition. Yikes! My first thought, was "that's great! So much to choose from!" But when I started to try to narrow it down from the vast sea of random words, I was intimidated. What would I writea bout?

Freedom. Freedom to choose. Freedome to do, or not do. Freedom to express yourself---or not.

What are we choosing to do? We have much more freedom than we realize. Free to respond. Free to assume something about someone. Free to fill in the blank.

Freedome to speak. Freedom to think and imagine. Freedom must be paired with discipline. We must discipline ourselves. I'm free to sleep until my children wake up in the morning, but with discipline, I actually find more freedom to create, to rest, to be.

At times, freedom can be too much. It can be too free.

And stop.

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One Small Habit

I have been through seasons of mothering where I just feel frazzled. The house won't stay tidy(ish), every time I turn around, someone needs something from me, I don't have any "me time" set aside in my day.

What I realized is that a lot of times, my own personal habits were contributing to my feelings of being stressed! At times, I go around putting out all these little fires, when something really simple could have prevented that "fire" altogether.

• If I come across my preschooler's stray shoe in a random room, and take a minute to put it away instead of telling myself that I'll remember where I saw it earlier
• If I wash the dishes in the sink before bed instead of leaving them for later
• If I get my coffee ready to brew the night before instead of trying to measure coffee grounds and water first thing in the morning
• If I renew a book through the library's website right when I remember to instead of putting it off
• If I decide what I want to make for dinner early in the morning, and pull meat from the freezer to thaw right away instead of thinking that I have time to think about it

I'm sensing a theme! If the task is something that only takes a moment, do it NOW, rather than promising yourself that you'll remember to do it later, at a more convenient time. I don't know how many times I've kicked myself for putting something off that could have been done quickly and easily.

What I tell myself in these moments when I'm tempted to ignore a task, is "doing this now will be a blessing to me later!" That may sound like a selfish way of thinking, but it really is a help to everyone in my family. In the instance of putting the shoes away the moment I notice them abandoned on the floor, I won't be scrambling later, or delayed on our way out the door. It really helps everyone! (And mom isn't stressing out, which I've come to realize is hugely important to my husband and children!)

How about you? Are you taking an extra minute to bless your future self? Is there anything you could do right now, that you'll thank yourself for later? 

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Five Minute Friday: Reflect

Go:

Reflect. I pause to reflect on this past year. I'm not feeling terribly nostalgic at this moment, but I reflect to see how far I've come this year, and where to go next.

I'm in a state of re-establishment. Defining our new normal, after the birth of my fourth baby. Creating time to pursue some goals. Getting back in the practice of writing. Enjoying it.

Getting our home back in order after the long last months of pregnancy. And the long/short months of the newborn period. Finding our rhythm as a family of six.

Finding discipline for myself. A daily check-in with God. Seeing my reflection again. Oh, there I am!

Reflect. This year has been one of growth in many ways. I pray for continued growth in the year to come.

And...Stop!

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My Christmas Playlist 2015

I'm no music expert (I generally like to leave to that my husband), but I like finding new Christmas music to listen to along with my "old standbys" of the season (Harry Connick, Jr, Jewel, and The Chipmunks if you're curious). This year, here are some songs that are new-to-me. Apparently, I'm drawn to mellow acoustic sounds mixed with female vocals (mostly). I think this is a pretty good mix of traditional and newer, original songs, but they have encouraged a light, peaceful tone in my home, so I really like that! I hope you check out some of these songs and enjoy them as much as I have!

(I have linked to the actual artist's YouTube video as much as possible for those who want to follow them or purchase the music). 


1. It Really is (a Wonderful Life) by Mindy Smith
2. What Child is This by Mindy Smith
3. White Christmas by Bright Eyes
4. Mele Kalikimaka by Jadon Lavik
5. The Christmas Waltz by She & Him
6. O Come O Come Emmanuel by Sixpence None the Richer
7. Silent Night by Sixpence None the Richer
8. Christmastime is Here by Sixpence None the Richer
9. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by The Good Lovelies
10. Jingle Bells by Tyrone Wells
11. No Christmas for Me by Zee Avi
12. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by Jack Johnson

What Christmas music are you enjoying this year? 

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Five Minute Friday: Seasons are About Change

Season. We are well into the Christmas season.

With that comes the lists from my children. My oldest is now eight, and the seasons are changing for him, too. It used to be that he was a bit oblivious of the times and seasons, and now it's a big deal for him. He recently has begun counting down to his birthday, and Christmas, and other occasions when he might get stuff.

It's so important to him. I miss the seasons when it was easier to surprise him. Times were simpler when he was younger.

My six year old is still in that season of simplicity. My three year old is coming into the season where he is aware of different occasions. And the baby? Everything is new for her!

Seasons are about change. For children and for mothers. 

Linking up for Five Minute Friday

Myers-Briggs for the Newbie

Surely, if you've been around social media at all in the past couple of years, you've heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (or MBTI for short). It was developed around 100 years ago by mother/daughter team, Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, who piggy-backed on work done by psychologist Carl Jung.

You may have seen internet memes that show what different types do in certain situations, or memes showing which character from a movie or book is what type and that sort of thing.

I'm sure everyone has seen tests going around online such as this one here, that allow you to answer a number of questions and gives you a result with four letters (like ENFP, INTJ, ISFP, ENTP, etc), and a summary of what that means.

What's My Type?

YEARS ago, my husband and I took one such test, and read the results for fun. I don't think I put too much stock into it at that time, and quickly forgot about it.

In recent years, people like Megan Tietz (now of the Sorta Awesome Podcast) and other bloggers have written enthusiastically about this personality typing system, and hearing about it piqued my interest. I took the test again, and got another result and read another assessment, and dismissed it as not being very accurate.

Well, I kept hearing about it, and really wanted to know. I took the test again, and read the assessment, and began this ridiculous process of questioning. Is this really me? Is that how I actually behave? Listen to this, dear...does this sound like me? Oh, yes, I'm definitely this! Wait...am I? No, I act more like this type, so I must be that. Yes, this one fits much better. Wait...

How I FINALLY figured out my type-

Sometimes, it's as easy as taking a test, and getting a result. For whatever reason, it wasn't as cut and dried as that for me. My results from tests would vary, and so I began reading the different type descriptions. This helped me, but also confused me a bit, too! (Not all type descriptions are created equal!)

I kept hearing about the cognitive functions (thanks, Megan!) I decided to look into it and learn more about them. It turns out, that these eight functions are WAY more revealing and in depth than the surface four letter "code" for each type. And guess what? Those four letter codes don't amount to very much! On the surface, two types may seem like they are pretty close, but when you look into the cognitive functions, you'll see that they operate very differently. They may not even share a single cognitive function!

What are the Cognitive Functions?

The cognitive functions are extraverted thinking (Te for short), introverted thinking (Ti), extraverted feeling (Fe), introverted feeling (Fi), extraverted sensing (Se), introverted sensing (Si), extraverted intuition (Ne), and introverted intuition (Ni). Whew! You can read about these functions here, and various other places online. (Try searching Google for the specific function you are interested in learning about).

Something to keep in mind as you test and try to discover your own type is to not focus on questions like, "am I a feeler, or a thinker?" Listen: everyone is a feeler. Everyone is a thinker. What is important, is what kind of feeler or thinker you are. You might be an introverted feeler, which is so different than being an extraverted feeler. Also important, is your preference for these functions, meaning, which of these functions are you more at ease with or more developed in your mind? If you can figure out which of these functions you use most, you will be well on your way to learning your actual type, and how best to use that knowledge.

How it's helped me

Once I finally figured out my type, I looked into what type my husband might be. Like me, he took the tests (reluctantly at times), and got a couple different results. Outwardly, he didn't seem to fit the descriptions of the common behavior of that particular type. Once I began reading about how his type functions cognitively, I started to understand. I was able to understand (and make peace with) something that has been a challenge in our marriage for the longest time. I realized my husband doesn't need fixing (as I long believed) but that he was wired to think and behave a certain way. And this way was just foreign to me. Not wrong.

I've learned a lot about myself, too! I learned that I'm an INFP (not INTP, as I expressed before), and finding a group (or three) on Facebook of fellow INFPs helped me to realize that some of the struggles in my life are not unique to me! I'm also not wrong and in need of fixing! (Of course, we all remain in need of spiritual growth, but that's not really what I'm talking about here).

Learning about the cognitive functions (not just mine) has helped me to realize that we all value different things. And in this valuing, we are not better, or more mature, or more spiritual, or anything than anyone else. God uses each of these eight cognitive functions (each of the 16 types primarily use four of these functions in different orders of preference) to bring glory to Him and to do the work that He would have His people accomplish in the earth. (And of course, God is not bound by cognitive functions or Myers-Briggs or anything else mankind can use to explain how He made us!)

What type are YOU?

Do you know your Myers-Briggs type? That four letter code, though not necessary to know, can be very helpful to you in your daily life. It can also help you understand better where others are coming from. If you know your type, did you have any trouble figuring it out? How has it helped you in your day-to-day life?

My Favorite MBTI Resources: 

Personality Hacker (be sure to check out their podcasts!)

Personality Junkie (they do a great job of breaking down the cognitive functions).   

16Personalities (for a good overview) 


This post has been shared at the following blogs:
Thank Goodness it's Monday at Nourishing Joy
Teaching What is Good 
A Little R & R 
I Choose Joy

Speaking Good Things Over Our Children

One day after my two older children had left on an outing with their grammy, I was home alone with my three year old son and napping three month old daughter.

I received a phone call from my husband who had been at work all day, and I was eager to talk to him. As we were chatting, my three year old ran into the room, and began to play with the baby's swing. He pushed it roughly, and switched on buttons, and music played, while the swing rocked quickly forward and back without the weight of a baby in it.

"Stop messing with the swing!" I snapped, more interested in getting back to my conversation with my husband.

The three year old switched the buttons off, and then on again in a flash, and ran out of the room.

"Little turkey!" I yelled.

"I not a turkey!" he yelled back.

"Did he just say he's not a turkey?" my husband laughed. "You can have what you say, you know."

That phrase. "You can have what you say." I know it to be true. But how often do I observe outward appearances and call it as I see it? Had the stress of motherhood made me forget to speak good things over my children, rather than just labeling them by the looks of their behavior?

Our culture applauds those who "say what's real", and so we value people when they make seemingly accurate observations. As Christians, though, we're called to go beyond that. To see beyond the see-able. To see what God sees.

In Genesis, we see the universe in chaos. Thankfully, God chose to see past that. He said, "let there be light."

My son came back in the room. "You're a blessing," I said to him.

"OH! Thank you, mom!" he beamed.

Our children need us to remind them how God sees them- not just how their behavior causes them to appear- and certainly not how they make us feel in a moment of tension. God's word is a mirror- to us, and to them.
Let's build up our children to be the awesome men and women God has called them to be!

What phrases can you speak over your children to affirm who they are in Christ?

Linking up with:
Mama Moments Mondays
Teaching What is Good 

What I'm Into- June 2015

Welcome to another very sporadic edition of What I'm Into! The last time I tried writing one of these was exactly a year ago. I never published it! I haven't published much since then- as I've been busy as a contributor on Donna Perugini's blog, AND growing a new baby! We welcomed our fourth baby this past May- a little girl, and we are feeling so blessed. She is awesome, and everyone seems to be adjusting fairly well. These past couple of months have been spent getting settled in, figuring out our "new normal", and we seem to have established nap routines, so for me that means I'm able to think about blogging! Just in general. Maybe not regular blogging. Maybe not super-intentional blogging. But blogging...sometimes. I'll take it!

Books

Since our new baby arrived, I've been on the couch a lot! That has afforded me the opportunity to read!

Dad is Fat: Written by the hilarious Jim Gaffigan, this book is all about his experiences as a parent. Seems like most of it is basically universal. His observations are laugh-out-loud funny and spot-on as usual. If you like his stand up comedy, you'll probably enjoy his book, too.

The Bean Trees (Barbara Kingsolver): I'm not much of a fiction reader. I have a really hard time picking stuff out that I think will be appropriate but also entertaining and meaningful. I had heard about another of Kingsolver's books from a podcast, and decided to look up her other books. Naturally, I was compelled to start with her first book. Well, it did not disappoint! The main character is a young, single woman moving west from her small town. She manages to unintentionally adopt a young child along the way, and starts a new life after she winds up in Tucson, Arizona. I especially liked that it takes place in the Sonoran Desert (where I just happen to live).

Want to Read

More of Kingsolver's books, for sure. Also on hold through my e-library service, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty and Wild by Cheryl Strayed (see? I'm trying to squeeze in more fiction!) Also, I may give To Kill a Mockingbird a re-read so I can join in a book discussion on The Hollywood Housewife's Facebook page. We'll see. The baby does eat a lot, so it could happen. ;-)

Television

I haven't watched a bunch of television, as my kiddos have kind of staked their claim on the TV right now, but a couple of notable things I've watched have been a documentary called On the Way to School and an Adam Sandler flick called The Cobbler.

On the Way to School is a film that follows children from around the world on their voyage (yes, voyage) to school. This is not a metaphorical voyage- but a literal one. Most of them coming from remote villages and traveling (most of them by foot) unattended for hours through rugged and wild terrain. To get to school. It really had me thinking about how people in our society are apt to call CPS when children are walking down the street alone to get to school, or just playing in their own yard. (Those are thoughts for another post though!)

The Cobbler was about, well...a cobbler who discovers that he has the ability to walk in other people's shoes- literally. It was interesting to see how he made use of that ability- but also a little silly. And weird. It has some really good parts, as Sandler's character really tries to do good with his new found power, and the ending actually made me say, "what?!", but overall, it was just okay. (I rated it three stars). I admit, I'm not a big watcher of independent movies, but thought I'd give it a chance because of Adam Sandler.

In My Kitchen

Since having a new baby, this month I'm just starting to get back into my kitchen. It's a huge blessing to have meals provided by other people, and take-out is great (but expensive!), but it is so nice to get back to normal! I did try my hand at making a sourdough starter, which I failed at! I didn't feed it frequently enough, so ended up with a sloppy mix of flour and water that smelled like nail polish remover. Ha. (How you know you're doing it wrong!)

Family Learning (AKA Homeschooling)

Goodness, it's been a whole lot of informal learning around here lately! But I was able to turn my kids on to Bindi's Bootcamp on Netflix, and we watched Charlotte's Web since we've been reading the book- hopefully I can finish this book with them very soon!

My children have also been noticing cursive writing in various places and my five year old daughter asked me to read something to her that was written in cursive. I asked her if she wanted to learn how to write that way, and she said yes! I brought out some worksheets with cursive letters, and let her trace them.

Internet Favorites

I have been learning more about Myers-Briggs personality types. I finally discovered my own type- INTP. It has been eye-opening to finally figure out my actual type. (I kept getting different results when taking the test- and they didn't seem to fit me at all!) It's amazing how it has made some things about my struggles and strengths make so much sense. Do you know your type?

Something that piqued my interest in that has been the Sorta Awesome Podcast. It has been more than sorta awesome in my opinion!

Last but not least...my wonderful husband has launched out and started a radio show! I'm super excited for him. I listen to the podcast version of Raging Sanity Radio though, because his show airs at 7:00 am. I ain't gonna lie...I don't remember the last time I voluntarily woke up that early (except for church)! Give it a listen if you're into politics and current events.

What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month

Hopefully getting back into the swing of homeschooling. We don't usually break for summer since it's so hot where we live.

So tell me, what are YOU into this month?

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My Bible Reading Goals for 2015

Recently I wrote about the Bible being our spiritual mirror.

Have you ever let that reflection get so foggy, you hardly recognize yourself? If so, you are not alone!

I know as moms, we can get so bogged down with every day life that we get away from the most important thing. The reason we do anything at all: God! His Spirit. His Words.

They are life-giving, and every time I read them, I see myself a little more clearly.

Once upon a time, I wasn't yet a wife, I didn't have children, and I pretty much only had myself to think about. Whoo! I was so spiritual! Can you relate to that? I thank God that I had time to myself early on to dive deep into His Word and get to know my way around the Bible, but thankfully, He had more in store for me!

I was soon married and quickly (really quickly!) became a mother, and then became a mother again...and again, and now I'm expecting our fourth blessing. I can be exhausted sometimes. It can be so hard to get up earlier than everyone. It can be a challenge to get to bed at a decent hour, because I spend time catching up on things after everyone else is in bed. In the most recent times that I've gotten up and have been able to spend uninterrupted time in His Word, it has been glaringly obvious to me that I've become distant from Him.

I don't want that to be the case in 2015! So, I'm pressing on. I mentioned a while back that I had found a great Bible reading plan in the YouVersion app on my phone. Guess what? I'm still plugging away at that plan! Project 345 Plus is a 365 day reading plan, most days having four chapters to read. Needless to say, it's taken me much longer than 365 days to read through it! But that's okay. I was pregnant with my third child when I started it, and that plan has seen me through a pregnancy, a postpartum period, a growing infant turned busy toddler, all while homeschooling my two older children, and now another pregnancy.

My plan is to be purposeful about waking up earlier than everyone so I can have that uninterrupted time to read and soak in His Word. I need that time to replenish my spirit! I need it to give me the mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to keep things going smoothly around here (I plan to do a better job at that this year! Only by His grace).

Will you join me? Pick out a Bible reading plan on YouVersion or somewhere else (even the back of your Bible might have one) and just get started. You won't have to waste time hemming and hawing over your Bible in the morning about what you should or shouldn't read. You'll know what's next. And amazingly, so will God. I'm always astounded that whatever I'm reading is exactly what I need for today. He is so good!

What Bible-reading goals do you have this year? Share in a comment!

2014- That's a Wrap!

I've been silent for several months here on Happy Christian Home. And I've been silent before. I realize there probably aren't many people still reading along, but somehow I still feel compelled to keep this blog going. Something in me says to keep sharing, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed in this great sea we call the internet and social media in general. It's a challenge to not compare oneself to everything else happening online. Feeling small here is pretty much effortless.

I guess I don't care about feeling small, per se. I just want to know that I'm called. And doing the thing I'm supposed to do with this space.

It is my goal this year to just be more consistent here, whatever that might look like. Either with monthly postings, or weekly postings- just consistent. Gradual. Realistic.

As you know, if you've been a reader for any length of time, I am a wife and a mom. I have three little ones, and for the past two and a half years, we've been homeschooling. This year, we are expecting a new little one to join our family, so that blessing will add a new dynamic. And of course, when we are busy with finding the "new normal" as a family, things like blogging tend to take a back seat. That's okay. (I'm sure you understand!)

Also, this past August, I teamed up with children's author Donna Perugini to be a contributor on her site. That has been an exciting opportunity for me, and I've really enjoyed working with her, and being sharpened as a writer. So, I guess you could say I haven't been totally silent online.

So, what's ahead for this space? Well, I hope to continue to share things as God places them on my heart, and also follow up with some of my writing from last year. I'd love to reach out to more of you via social media, like Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. I don't want to spread myself too thin, though since I feel called to focus on writing, but at the same time, I need to go where readers are. I've learned I can't just click "publish" and kick back with my feet up and wait for the people to start rolling through here (if only!) There is a work side to this whole blogging thing! (File that under "things nobody tells you about starting a blog".) ;-)

I hope I can continue to connect with those that come through here as I have in the past, and get to know more of you! 

I hope that you had a wonderfully blessed 2014, and pray that your year ahead is awesome! 

If you're new around here, here are links to three of my favorite blog posts this year, and also links to a few of my favorites on Donna Perugini's site! 

Happy Christian Home posts:

Reflecting on Our First Year of Homeschooling

Read Aloud Chapter Books We've Enjoyed this Year

Unburdened: 9 Ways to Create an Uncluttered Atmosphere

Donna Perugini posts:

A Shiny Reflection for 2015

A Shiny Reflection for 2015

Homeschooling as a Beginner

Hosting a Community Baby Shower

 

Five Ways to Show Support for Children's Ministry Workers

Have you ever wondered how you can take care of the ones who care for the children? Today, I'm sharing some ideas about how to do just that! Point number two: "Value their time. If you must have a meeting, be prepared and keep it as brief as possible." CLICK HERE TO READ MORE!

Value their time. If you must have a meeting, be prepared and keep it as brief as possible. - See more at: http://donnaperuginichildrensauthor.com/2014/08/26/5-ways-to-support-childrens-church-volunteers/#sthash.k49RQk2m.dpuf

Value their time. If you must have a meeting, be prepared and keep it as brief as possible. - See more at: http://donnaperuginichildrensauthor.com/2014/08/26/5-ways-to-support-childrens-church-volunteers/#sthash.k49RQk2m.dpuf

Value their time. If you must have a meeting, be prepared and keep it as brief as possible. - See more at: http://donnaperuginichildrensauthor.com/2014/08/26/5-ways-to-support-childrens-church-volunteers/#sthash.k49RQk2m.dpuf

Value their time. If you must have a meeting, be prepared and keep it as brief as possible. - See more at: http://donnaperuginichildrensauthor.com/2014/08/26/5-ways-to-support-childrens-church-volunteers/#sthash.k49RQk2m.dpuf

I'm honored to be featured at Donna Perugini's website (the author who brought you great books like The Flight of Orville Wright Caterpillar), so won't you join me over there and weigh in on the topic? I look forward to hearing your ideas!

K-3 Free (and Inexpensive) Homeschool Resource Round-Up

Are you just starting out with your homeschool planning, but not knowing where to turn? I was like that a couple years ago when we began! I knew we wanted to homeschool, but I didn't have a set "philosophy" to guide me through those uncertain first months. Also? I didn't have the budget to just go out and buy the curriculum that most appealed to me (any of them!)

Here are some of the (free) resources we've relied on for the past couple of years, and one of the relatively inexpensive things we've used too!

Free Resources:

Ambleside Online- This is a website that is based on principles of a Charlotte Mason education. Admittedly, the first few times I explored this site trying to figure out how this might work for my brood, I kinda got a little bit cross-eyed trying to figure out what we were supposed to actually do. Then I started reading about Charlotte Mason and her ideas on education. Ah, it made so much more sense after that! That being said, I don't recommend trying to use this without having read a bit about Charlotte Mason. This is one you can use for all ages.

Easy Peasy- Easy Peasy has every grade laid out from preschool through high school. It is a site that is put together by a Christian mom of many. She wanted the curriculum to be online to keep track of what her children had done year by year (and also so it could be reused by her younger children), and made it available to other parents and caregivers. I like the concept, and you don't need much more than an good internet connection to use it.

Education.com- This is a great resource for worksheets and projects to do. I believe you are allowed five free downloads per month. I've found it easy to locate a good quality, grade-level worksheet on various topics.

Homeschool Share- Lapbooks and Unit Studies galore! (Also, they have many resources for Five in a Row, if you're using that.)

IXL- IXL is math and language arts for K-12. This is very kid-friendly, and I like that they allow your child to do 20 practice questions per day. You don't have to sign up and pay for their service, though if you want to go beyond the practice questions, you will have to. It is nice to use in addition to another math program just to gauge where your child is at currently.

Khan Academy- Khan Academy is a non-profit that has teaching videos and exercises for math, and many other subjects. For math, it is the most basic arithmetic all the way to stuff I never learned, like calculus and other difficult-sounding mathematic disciplines. (Can you tell I'm not a math buff?) I haven't spent very much time exploring their other resources, but it does look rather extensive.

Lesson Pathways- This is a good one if you want a fully guided custom curriculum (for K-5). I like how you can simply click on certain units to remove them (if say, your child has already mastered that lesson) and you can move the units around to put them in the order you want. You can even combine grade levels in a certain area of study. The only caveat I would offer for this resource is that many of the outside links are no longer good. This makes it a little frustrating, but you can easily find alternate projects or worksheets elsewhere (and you have the option to report any links you find that don't work). It does help when you want grade-level appropriate ideas. We've discovered many favorite books and authors through the ideas on this site. To use it, you only need to register with an email address. (They have never contacted me or sent me emails, in case you're worried about that!)

Simply Charlotte Mason- Can you guess what we're doing this year? Yep, we're inspired by Miss Mason and her excellent ideas concerning education. I actually have found this to be a great deal simpler than using Ambleside- at least for the way my brain works! If you want to incorporate her method into your homeschool, you just need to figure out what works better for you (whether Ambleside Online, Simply Charlotte Mason or any other Charlotte Mason website). I like the more modern books recommended here, and I like their free curriculum planner. Yes, it still takes planning, but it is totally guided and they offer sample schedules as well. (Also, both Ambleside and Simply Charlotte Mason have online forums for all of your questions!)

Inexpensive:

Five in a Row- I wanted this list to be full of FREE resources, but I couldn't leave this one out. It is not free, but you can find the volumes of this book at Amazon for relatively cheap and find most of the recommended books at the library. So it's almost free. We love using Five in a Row, because, well...we love reading. It is not intended to be a full curriculum, but it does open the door to many cool educational things to share with your little ones!

(If you like these resources, feel free to follow my Homeschooling Ideas and Resources board on Pinterest!)

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Have you used any of these resources? Which one is your favorite?

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