Overcoming Stuff Processing Disorder

 

Overcoming "Stuff Processing Disorder"

For the past two years, I've been on a decluttering mission. A mission to lighten my load, so to speak. I've been overwhelmed by too much stuff- and not even valuable stuff. Just stuff that comes in and doesn't get dealt with properly, and accumulates exponentially.

I was sharing something that was a small victory for me the other day in a decluttering group on Facebook. I threw away a catalog that came in the mail- the same day it arrived in my mailbox. It's a catalog of products that I use, and really like, but I realized I can find information about all of those products online. I don't need this catalog as a reference. I don't have a designated place to store catalogs in my home (who does?) So I tossed it. It was in that moment that I realized I am overcoming what I now refer to as "stuff processing disorder."

In the group, I joked that in the past, I would've held onto that catalog for six years. That's not much of an exaggeration. Many times, I've thought as I've come across things in my decluttering journey, "why do I still have this?"

I have a long history of dealing with stuff processing disorder. When I worked on staff at my church, I seem to remember my office being (semi) jokingly referred to as "the black hole". Stuff would go in, but it rarely made it out (at least not without much outside pressure). Come to think of it, my childhood bedroom was sort of the same way. My desk at school and my backpack were like this too. This is not a new thing for me.

You can imagine that living with this "disorder" adds to the level of chaos in my life. I'm not a hoarder- at least not to the point that I could appear on one of those reality shows. But I can easily see how I could have gotten to that point.

I've heard the expression, "big doors swing on little hinges" and I think it's important to recognize some of those "little hinges" or mental shifts it has taken for me to overcome stuff processing disorder.

I'm not a reservoir

Not every single item is meant to take up permanent residence with me and my family! Some items are meant to be used and passed on or discarded. Baby gear is a great example. With my fourth baby, we bought a swing second hand. We used it until she outgrew it and was ready for the Exersaucer, and then we passed it quickly to a relative.

Early on in my parenting journey, I thought I was wise for hanging onto everything. "Once this child outgrows it, I can use it for the next one," I'd say. Well, what happens in the mean time? Do I have space for this item until the next child is ready for it? If not, then it's time to re-evaluate. It's helpful to view our possessions as fluid- easily received and easily given again based on their usefulness to us at the time.

Items can be replaced

Our family might be complete with four children, but I know that I can get another baby swing if I need it in the future (I've been wrong about being done before- just saying). I can get one rather inexpensively too (or even free).

Most things are easily replaceable, and God has a way of providing- especially when we have open hands to give to others who need something that we have. Having extra space and order in the home is much better than hanging on to an item "just in case."

I only have so much space

This may not be something everyone deals with immediately, but for us, living in a small apartment, it came to my attention rather quickly! Children seem to acquire things at an alarming rate. With four of them in your family, that means four birthdays per year, Christmas gifts for four, Easter goodies, and every single kid-centric event ever (we all know that goody bags are a "requirement" of children's events), changing out seasonal clothing (again, twice a year times four little ones- and even more often for the baby), and you quickly realize that your walls are made of bricks- not elastic!

Too much stuff gets overwhelming

Not dealing with things promptly leads to an overwhelmed, stressed out me. Other people in my home are affected by this. One of my goals as a wife and mom is to create an atmosphere of peace. I've learned that part of my problem is spending too much time and effort on keeping things cleaned, put away, and tidy. I'm not the type of person who likes to clean (gasp!) When I learned that I need to be proactive about evaluating an item's role in our lives, I realized that I had the power to keep things from becoming overwhelming. It is so much more peaceful to maintain fewer items than it is to try to maintain many items!

Have you suffered from "stuff processing disorder"? What mental shifts have helped you overcome this issue?

Linking Up With:
Thank Goodness it's Monday
Teaching What is Good
Hip Homeschool Moms
A Little R & R
Whole Hearted Wednesday
Hearts for Home
I Choose Joy

Maintaining My Home Management Binder

It's a great thing to have a home management binder. It reminds me of my days as the office manager at our church when I used to go everywhere with my planner (or as I jokingly called it, "my brain"). It can make you feel more centered, more in control of your day and the goings-on of your family. But...it's pretty much useless, if it's not organized in such a way that you can actually utilize the information contained therein. I know this from experience.

About a year ago, when I originally got inspired to make my home management binder, I put in a few forms, some checklists, and then added some recipe clippings to that since I love cooking and baking. (I kind of have a ridiculous obsession with finding new recipes to try). Anyway, somewhere in there, I had gotten out of the habit of maintaining my binder. Needless to say, I didn't really use it anymore, except for a catch-all for my recipes found online or in magazines or wherever. It had no purpose; it was just a clutter magnet for my kitchen.

Recently, I had been seeing more and more posts on different blogs about home management binders. I got inspired again. I pulled out my binder a few weeks ago and knew that I had some work ahead of me. It was a mess. I'm happy with the progress I made, even though I still have more to do to make it totally workable for me. But at least it's a start...

• I started by pulling out all those recipes. I went through each one, and I realized there were several that I never actually used. The ones I did use, I placed in a pile to be organized.

• Then, I got to clippin'. I trimmed out unnecessary parts of the paper, as shown so that I could fit as many recipes as possible into my binder. 
• I used some of those adhesive photo refill pages to organize my recipes. I managed to fit 2-3 on a page. 
• My recipe pages are now organized by soups, main dishes, special dishes for a crowd (like church potlucks or holiday dinners) and children's favorites (like granola bars, etc). 

I still need to get some more pages, so I can also organize my massive collection of dessert recipes (still growing, now that I'm on Pinterest!)

Anywho, I had a lot of trash when I was done. (I hope no environmentalists are reading this! Lol!)

I found some helpful forms here, and printed them and added them to my binder like so: 

By the way, I'm using the Daily Docket and the Master Weekly Checklist from the above link. I'll probably add some more of these free printables gradually, so as not to overwhelm!

Basically, it's more functional now. And that's a good thing. Right now, I need all the help I can get! Now, if I can just stick with it, I think I'll be in business! Though, these days, I'm trying to be a little more forgiving of myself, since this little person is not allowing me to operate at my usual pace (that's okay!). 

Have you ever gotten off track from your organizational endeavors? How did you get back into the swing of things?

Goals for 2011 Revisited

I know if I were the truly goal-oriented type, I would check in on my goals more than semi-annually. I'm working on it! Just this morning, I was reviewing my goals from half a year ago in my journal.

I was actually quite pleased at my progress. That's not to say that I've already accomplished what I set out to improve on entirely, but I'm closer than I was at the beginning of the year. Yay!

Here's the original post about my goals to read in it's entirety if you missed it.

(And for those of you who may desire more rapid growth and more accountability for reaching your goals, check out the 3 in 30 Challenge if you haven't already! There's some great encouragement as well as awesome ideas for making improvements in your life!)

Spiritual Goals:

1. Spend moments alone with God (in prayer and Bible reading) everyday. Put Him first before anything including computer time and chores. Well...I've done alright here. I have kind of been hit & miss with my commitment to have my quiet time before computer time and chores. Maybe that's why I've only been averaging about four days a week in the Word. Hmm.
2. Cultivate the fruit of the Spirit- Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. Not really sure how to measure this one. Perhaps this one would be best broken down into mini-goals, kind of like #4. As in working on one area at a time.
3. Make church a priority. Be excellent in my areas of service. Do what God directs me to do regardless of whether or not my work is acknowledged or appreciated. Keep my eyes on Him! I've been much happier in this area so far because of this attitude. There have been a few times when I didn't make it a point to be involved, but overall, I've done a lot better. Last year, I think I technically attended pretty regularly, but wasn't really "there."
4. Make a habit of speaking the language of praise- stop complaining! Tame my tongue! I'm still working on this one! I've been more challenged in this area lately, so it's time to really focus on this!

Marital Goals:

1. Be positive with my husband. Don't criticize, complain or condemn. Criticizing, complaining and condemning was a habit last year. I think I can say it's less of a habit now. :P I've read one really good book that addresses this called The Surrendered Wife (read at your own risk, it is not by a Christian author) and it really helped me to break the cycle on some of this behavior. I even wrote a post about one attitude change of mine.
2. Keep "covenant" in the forefront of my mind- by doing a Scripture study and/or reading books/listening to teachings that promote covenant in marriage. Honestly, I haven't really gone out of my way to do this! This is one I'll need to focus on in the latter part of the year, apparently! :)
3. Be flexible (this one is a biggie for me!)- Let your immediate answer be "yes" or at the very least "I'll think about it". (So often I am immediately opposed to new ideas- this is a habit that I would like to break this coming year to promote peace in my marriage). See #1.

Maternal Goals:

1. Actively direct P & C to the Lord by sharing Scriptures with them, weaving Biblical lessons into the everyday- don't be afraid to show them my need for the Savior when I mess up, too! Keep them in prayer on a daily basis! I've been fairly diligent to my little ones in prayer (when I have my prayer time!), also, I've been trying to communicate to my son "We treat others they way we want to be treated" especially during those times when he's "less than nice" to his sister. It's been relatively easy to confess my faults to them (when it has something to do with them, of course). I just read this post the other day that gave me some ideas on how to share Scripture with them.
2. Focus on spending quality time with them in instruction, creative play, and just for fun (with no agenda)! Get out of the house on a weekly basis (in addition to church- i.e. to the library, park or elsewhere). Institute regular TV turn-off weeks/days. We did our "Screen-Free Week" but I haven't done much in the way of limiting television other than that. Maybe I will schedule another one for the second part of the year...maybe in the fall. I've also started having "floor time" with them, which is essentially just that. I sit on the floor, and they get to come up with what to do. Sometimes it's reading books, other times it's climbing on top of me. Lol! Getting out of the house has proven more challenging lately since my husband returned to work. He's been gone for most of the day six days a week, and he works too far away for me to drop him off. Hopefully that will change soon! (Though I am thankful he has a job!)
3. Work toward having "real food" be the basis for their diet (and ours too of course)...phase out store bought/processed foods like chicken nuggets. I was really excited when I realized my progress here. I don't remember the last time I bought chicken nuggets! We have had a few times of fast food or tacos from the local Mexican restaurant, but for the most part, they eat real food. I've even been able to phase out the snack-y foods like crackers and such and even cereal to some extent.

Domestic Goals:

1. Cultivate order and beauty in our home. Make it a place of tranquility and hospitality. Go the extra mile to make things "pretty". Fail! Lol! Actually, not really. :) I've been better about keeping things in order, and teaching the children to help out with clean up time. This has been more or less a daily thing, so that's good. I don't know that our home has become any "prettier" since last year. (Unless you count crayon and highlighter scribbles on the wall) :P Just keepin' it real!
2. Find and use one new recipe each month. I have not been purposeful about this. Though I would imagine that I probably do come close this without even thinking about it.
3. Pare down our possessions by doing "27 Fling Boogies" or something similar on a regular basis. Keep stuff I/we love and use, but sell, donate or dispose of other stuff. I have done probably all of 2 "27 Fling Boogies" so far this year. But that's okay! That means we now have 54 fewer unneeded or unwanted items in our home!

Personal Goals:

1. Continue to develop friendships with other women...pray for and be on the look out for a Titus 2- type mentor. I think I've done okay with the first part of this one. As far as a mentor is concerned, I still have not really become "connected" with someone like I need to be. My Pastor's wife is an awesome choice, and I actually have had a couple of meetings with her this year, but I know it would benefit me to meet with her more regularly.
2. Continue to blog regularly- make a schedule of posts every month (you know, so I don't sit around wondering what to blog about every day!). Gain 60 new blog followers in 2011. Well, I don't know if I've blogged as regularly as I set out to, but I've posted usually at least once (sometimes twice) a week. And actually, I think I've come at least close to half way on my goal to gain followers! So that's exciting. (Not sure of the exact number, as I did not record my number of followers at the beginning of the year).
3. Read! Commit to two books per month for a total of 24 in 2011! (And, try to read one book at a time! :D) I've been reading...just not sure how much! I have joined the adult reading program at the library, so that has helped motivate me (I so want to win a reusable bag full of goodies! ;-) It can just be so stinkin' hard to stay committed to a book. Mostly because right now, I'm not reading frequently enough that I guess I get bored with whatever I happen to be reading. And I definitely have not stuck to one book at a time!
4. Contribute $400 per month to our family's income (with the purpose of covering "non-essential" expenses like gifts and other nice-but-not-necessary things) through my Pampered Chef business. The closest I've come to reaching this goal is about half way! I need to really get busy on this, at least for now, as it's not really "fun money" at this point. I have a couple other ideas to contribute monetarily (you know, without getting a "regular job" hee hee) so we'll see how those ideas pan out.

How have you done on your goals for 2011 so far? Remember, it's not too late to create some goals if you missed the "resolution making" of the New Year!

"FLYing" toward Biblical Hospitality

I so love the book of Romans! Especially chapter 12. Every time I consider purchasing a new Bible, this is the chapter I read to test whether I should buy that particular version. (I have a system, okay?! Ha ha!)

Well, today a particular verse was brought back to my remembrance...verse 13 that says:

"...distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality."

And I know I'm not the first to make this connection, but in order to adhere to the command to be "given to hospitality" you've got to have a relatively clean house, right?

Having been fairly diligent lately to stay on track with my "FLYing," my home has been relatively presentable. That feels so awesome! While I wouldn't jump to host a ladies tea at my place at this point, I can have people over without being totally embarrassed by my lack of diligence in housekeeping. I can even invite people in if they show up unexpectedly. Even my kitchen has been in such a state of semi-readiness that I can offer a snack to people. It feels great to just open the door and say "sure, come on in!" without scrambling to tidy up and throw a bunch of stuff in the bedroom and quickly close the door. (Probably nobody else knows what I'm talking about!)

I know that hospitality extends far beyond moving past talking to visitors on the porch. But chaos (or CHAOS- Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome as the Fly Lady calls it) in our home is something that keeps us from moving toward the Biblical directive to be given to hospitality. And guess what? If you are regularly given to hospitality, your house will by necessity stay clean and orderly. It's a beautiful thing!

The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). But in order to love our neighbor, we need to love our self! We need to make our home a place that we love to be, and in turn, other people will love to be there too! And we will love to invite them over!

Where are you on this journey? Are you loving yourself? Are you loving your neighbor and inviting them over? What can you do this week to take a step closer to hospitality?

Linking up Here:

Back on the Fly Lady Bandwagon

 That's right! I fell off of it. But I'm back.

Too many things were not getting done, and I was sort of drowning in my lack of routines. I had been out of the house for extended periods a couple of times over the past week, and the CHAOS became really apparent. Of course, after being out of the house, I was pretty drained and didn't have much energy to get stuff in shape, so you can imagine (but please try not to- it's not pretty!)

Have you heard of the Fly Lady? She (Marla Cilley) has a website (Flylady.net) as well as a book called Sink Reflections. It's been about a year since I came across her site. I found it sort of by accident, but it was life-changing! I love it when someone comes along and challenges my perspective toward housework or organization (another great book I've come across is Organizing from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern).

For people like me, for whom housework and organization seems to be this completely "mystifying" experience, women like the Fly Lady seem to just unveil the process of orderly living. (This is coming from someone who used to be sent to "clean your room" and would be discovered two hours later playing in the middle of a bigger mess- this kind of still happens for me, though I'm somewhat more disciplined these days). I so appreciate the advice of these ladies, and their step-by-step directions. It makes housework seem like not such an insurmountable task. Even if you have little ones. Even if you don't have a lot of help from others.

Hopefully in the coming weeks, I can create better habits so I can achieve more order and clarity in my world. I started last night with shining my sink. I still woke up to a counter full of dirty dishes, but my sink was shiny! That little step will start the ball rolling to even greater diligence!

Have you ever fallen into a housework slump? What has helped you recover?

No Housework Party

I was so excited when I heard about the 1^st Annual No Housework Party hosted by Jenn at CoolestFamily on the Block. Finally a day off without guilt (not that I actually feel guilty when I slack off on housework...I just eventually get frustrated with the mess, and start moving)! 

I'm somewhere between being domestically challenged and being a domestic goddess. Sometimes quite honestly a little closer to being challenged. I have other skills, okay? Like blogging! But seriously, I am striving to improve, and I feel that I have improved immensely over the years.

Anyway, so back to the party...you may have noticed that this post is not from two days ago! It's Saturday morning and I'm still composing it! I certainly appreciated the day off but apparently (for me anyway), laziness begets laziness. I took two days off instead of one. (For shame!) That was pretty unintentional, though. I was determined to do no housework on Thursday...and I succeeded.

I didn't put these away:

I also was not the least bit tempted to fold these:

This nastiness did not get taken out:

I did not tidy up this room (though I will say this is really tame for a "mess" in this room!):

This mess was stepped over all day:

And I really wanted to sort through these summer clothes for my daughter and get them ready for wear but, alas, I resisted the urge:

Friday, was a different story, though. We went to an event at the library after lunch time, and then hung around there for a little while after the event was over. Then we came home. And I subsequently continued to do nothing. Actually, my wonderful husband took out the trash and cleaned up most of the dishes while the children and I were at the library. So that was a nice surprise.

Today, I thoroughly intend to get stuff back in shape around here. I might even fold the laundry!

What did you do for No Housework Day? And if you missed it, don't despair! It's happening until tomorrow and there's still time to link up!

My Home Management Binder

Okay, so would you all believe that we JUST got our van back (yes, from the "great van towing of 2010")! Now, I can finally finish moving in (because you know I had already done as much moving in as I could, right? Umm...not so much!)

Anyway, I'm super excited to have all of our stuff in our possession once again (including the two hampers full of dirty laundry- ahem!) By the way, our cup now officially "runneth over" and my new stance is that no more stuff can come into our home until further notice!

In the recent influx of stuff, I came across my handy-dandy Home Management Binder, or Control Journal, if you will, (a la Fly Lady).

As you can see by the picture, the last time I used it and actually adhered to my routines, was November 18^th! I was still getting ready for the move. I really believe that this will help me get back on track with my housekeeping and such.

Here's a tour of my Control Journal:

Here is the front cover. I had sent my husband to the store to pick out a new binder for me after back to school time (when all the school supplies were on clearance) and told him to pick out a "fun color". He picked out orange! Now I know you're all wondering how much we paid for it, but I don't remember now. Sorry! But you can likely get a binder like this for just a few dollars. Anyway, in the front cover, I inserted an inspirational confession that I adapted from Women Living Well. The title says "Your Home is a Haven" and basically, I changed all the pronouns from the example of Home #2 so that I could confess it over myself during those times when I need some motivation in my homemaking everyday. I think it's important to put something here that represents the vision that you have for your homemaking. It could be a picture from a magazine (or of your own home on a really great day), a Scripture, or something else inspirational that represents the goals you are working toward.

Here is the first page in my Control Journal. I took Fly Lady's advice, and used sheet protectors, and I also picked up some fine tip dry erase markers so that I could cross off the tasks that I complete. (And then wipe it off to start anew the next day!) I once learned in a Franklin Covey workshop that when you cross off items on your "to do" list, it releases endorphins. I'm all about any kind of perks that come with being diligent! The Fly Lady says that one should have a morning routine and an evening routine. You can even add in an afternoon routine if that helps you. I could see that as being something helpful for those with children that go to school or working moms (depending on what time you get home) or for college student wives, as I know some of you are. :)

Next is my evening routine. (Note in bold lettering the admonition "GO TO BED AT A DECENT HOUR!" I really need to read that everyday!) You can't really tell by this blurry picture, but this routine includes getting your clothes ready for the next day, as well as shining the sink. Can I just say that it is so refreshing to wake up to a nice, clean, shiny sink? Try it sometime if you aren't in the habit, and you'll want to make it a habit in a hurry!

Your Control Journal can include many other things, like important phone numbers and other information. Even a monthly calendar! Check the Fly Lady's site to get some more ideas. In the back of mine, I have past weekly menus along with shopping lists. One of these days, I'm going to get uber-organized and make some kind of master shopping list. Maybe even a master list of meals my family enjoys along with ingredients that are needed to prepare them. You can get really creative and make up all kinds of helpful sheets- whatever may help you run your home more efficiently.

Using my Home Management Binder helps me answer the question: "What do I need to do today?" I already know, at a glance, what I need to do to keep my home in order and when to do it. And, the more in the habit I am of doing all these things, the faster it goes, and the more time I have to spend doing fun things with the children during the day (and of course other stuff too)! 

She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Proverbs 31:27, NLT

What helps you to stick with your routines?