Friday, December 17, 2010

Blessed are the Peacemakers

"Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous--with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the sons of God!" Matthew 5:9
 I so wish I could say in all actuality that the above Scripture always suits me to a "T". But I can't! At least not for the past several weeks. And at least not lately in my marriage.

Over the past month or so, we've had several minor "setbacks" that have come up, and I have not dealt with them gracefully. Not one bit. In everything, I was constantly looking for someone to blame...someone to hold accountable for all the things that have gone wrong lately. Guess who got the brunt of it? If you guessed my husband, you're right!

Now, before you try this at home, let me just tell you, it does nothing to improve one's marriage. It does, however, cause the male person in the marriage to become withdrawn, in addition to a host of other undesirable results.

I started thinking about all of this, and how a lot of things were definitely NOT going my way one day after a pretty big fight. The biggest thing for me was the blame aspect. I was being critical. Nothing was good enough. Even something as simple as my husband's run to the grocery store elicited a negative response from me (i.e. "I meant fresh parsley...not dry").

Back to the Scripture. I was not "enjoying enviable happiness". I was not feeling particularly "spiritually prosperous". I wasn't seeing much "life-joy" or "satisfaction in God's favor and salvation" for that matter. I was neither making peace nor maintaining it. It would stand to reason that those who do the opposite of making and maintaining peace- sowing discord, and fighting their husband every step of the way- would get the opposite of what this Scripture promises. Just some of the negative things you would reap (if you were brave enough to try this yourself- like I was) are unhappiness, spiritual lack, misery, and dissatisfaction...just to name some of the results of this choice.

However (oh, how I love "however"), in God's infinite grace, He allowed me to see the error of my ways, and I was able to repent (just as you can if you happen to relate to this post even a tiny little bit). 1 John 1:9 (one of my faves) says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." For me, I know that total success in this area may not be an overnight thing, but I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's the beauty of it though. God will meet me wherever I'm at, as long as I'm willing to yield to Him! (And believe me, I'm more than willing to get away from this negative attitude!)

What can you do if you happen to be in a similar situation? Just take one step at a time! Commit to being a peacemaker in your marriage first of all. Purpose to let your response be one of peace...not everything has to go "your way" or even the way you are used to it being. Watch your tone, and communicate to your spouse that you believe their intentions to be good even if they do something unexpected.

So, from now on, I am a peacemaker! I hesitated to share my experience, being that my blog is called "Happy Christian Home" and all. I was certainly doing nothing to live up to that title! But I know you ladies might be able to relate, and maybe just maybe somebody will be helped by my admission.

So...what steps do you take in your marriage to be a "maker and maintainer of peace"? Feel free to share in the comments!

Linking up for Marriage Mondays at Come Have a Peace